On the Road

Even I get a vacation every now and again... but now is not that time.

I'm packing my family and our stuff this weekend, leaving my adopted state of New York, and hoping to be comfortably and permanently ensconced in our new digs south of Raleigh, NC in time for fireworks on the Fourth.

Depending on just when Time-Warner gets my new cable modem installed, I should be posting again by the middle of next week.

Till then, Phin will keep and eye on things, and he promised me that if thing got too out of hand, he'd find out where your mom lives and mail her one of these in your name, so play nice.

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Un-Unemployed

Now I have the honor of saying, with sadistic glee, the scariest sentence in the English language:

"I'm from the government, and I'm here to help."

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 01:21 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Blogger For Hire

In the event some hiring manager types are reading this, I'd like to mention that I am looking for a job in RTP, North Carolina, preferably a position that takes advantage of my technical writing education and experience, and my background in web design, marketing, and usability.

I would also like to help companies interested in developing blog strategies for customer service, media relations, internal communications, and damage control, in addition to helping them set up acceptable-use blogging policies for their employees.

I can be contacted at confederateyankee@hotmail.com.

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 12:26 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Doing Laps

I'm currently in NC, heading back to NY tomorrow for a week or so, before coming back once more to find a tech writing or web-related job in RTP.

Ten hours of rainy-day driving, with a detour to drop off the last project I worked on for my integrity-challenged former employer just north of NYC . I doubt I'll get paid the severence pay I'm owed, but I'll be able to look myself in the mirror for doing my part, and I might even be able to drum up a bit of sympathy and a prayer for his family that things work out for their failing business. It doesn't pay to hate him.

I've got far more important people to think about, including a stunningly beautiful wife, and a pretty little blonde-haired girl with big blue eyes that wants more than anything to give her dad a smothering hug and big, smacking kiss. Yeah, I've got things I need to work on, but I have my priorities straight, and 600-odd miles of asphalt between me and them.

...I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep. *

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 09:44 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Wish Me Luck...

I had a job interview yesterday that I think went well in RTP. I should find out about it tomorrow, so keep your fingers crossed for me, if you would. I'm staying nearby and checking out real estate tomorrow hoping this or another position in the area pan out, so blogging will be light.

My former employer has not yet deposited the last month's severance pay that he said he would into my account, and has not responded to the voicemail I left for him this morning, nor the email I sent at the same time. I'm not amused.

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 12:46 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Jennifer Wilbanks: Political Threat?

Jennifer "Runaway Bride" Wilbanks may be crazy... crazy like a political fox.

"This is one of the most selfish and self-centered acts I've ever seen," said Ryan Kelly*, owner of Park Cafe. "Obviously, she has the character to run for political office."

"I'm glad that she's alive and OK, but it was a dirty trick," said Louise McCoy*, waiting in line at the Duluth post office on the day Wilbanks was supposed to be married in a lavish ceremony that included 14 bridesmaids and 14 groomsmen. When asked about a possible political run, McCoy continued," You know, Jennifer has proven that she can waste huge amounts of money on a neurotic whim, so maybe she should be in Washington."

"I hear that kind of crazy has worked real well for Nancy Pelosi."

* Quotes creatively embellished.

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 12:52 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Celebrate Earthday!

Personally, I'm going to celebrate by driving a couple hundred miles over smog-choked roads paved through woodlands, to interview for a job with a company that puts heavy metals into the environment.

Yay, earth!

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 07:10 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Heading South

I'm taking the wife and kid "down home" to North Carolina for a long weekend visiting with the famn damily, so posting may be sporadic until Tuesday or so.

Update: 4 potty stops, 10 hours, 600 miles, and 1300 "Are we there yet"s later, we have arrived.

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 09:49 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Dumbest. College. Major. Ever. Except for That One...

You thought underwater basketweaving was stupid? Try getting a Master's in Activism & Social Change, via a thread in The New Editor.

I'm thinking of turning my existing MA into a New College MFA in Creative Inquiry. That way, I can sit around with the Great Unwashed and say, "Dude, WTF?" as a professional.

I don't see "The Donald" picking these guys for The Apprentice, but a future with "The Ronald" seems all but certain.

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AFLAC Duck on SE Asian Sex Tour?

And you thought you were having a bad day. (h/t: Drudge)

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Stupid Media Comment of the Day

From a CNN television segment about a small plane that crashed during an emergency landing on a higway today:

The plane "...might have clipped an 18-wheeler while flying lower than usual." (emphasis added)

Gee, you think?

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 02:54 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Ka-Blooey!

The small consulting firm I worked for just broke the bad news that they aren't doing too well financially, so I'm one of the recipients of the dreaded "last on, first off" Friday afternoon speech.

I figure it's God's way of telling me I need to branch out with my writing skills, so if you know of anyone looking for a technical writer, columnist, or pro blogging gig, let me know, will you?

That's "confederateyankee-at-hotmail-dot-com"

I'm currently in the NY Metro area, but I'd willing to consider a relocation back to the Old North State.

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 07:24 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Right to Carry Trumps Right to Life

If I have made one observation in my life worth passing along, it is that the owner of a gun store is the last person you should ever be stupid enough to ever try to rob.

I guess we can add to the cliches, "Never bring a knife to a gun show."

(hat tip Drudge)

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I'm Not Dead Yet

Today marks my fifth-annual 30th birthday.

Send money for these.

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Tire Blogging Comes to New York

Glenn Reynolds is right, tire blogging is the next big thing, but oddly enough, not all tire places (or bloggers) are equipped for "live" tire blogging. I will however, blog it after the fact.

I did learn some interesting things, such as that plugging tires is no longer practiced in New York (the plugs tend to work loose, and the sudden deflatation can lead to blowouts), and that internal patching is the only acceptable way to make repairs, acording to the experts I talked too.

Regular, non-tire blogging resumes this afternoon...

Home

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Now Reading: Hugh Hewitt's Blog

I just got my copy of Hugh Hewitt's Blog: Understanding the Information Reformation That's Changing Your World. I'm one chapter in so far, and it is a fascinating read.

Hugh, should you ever come by here: "you done good."

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Snotblogging

Sure, Glen Reynolds has his tireblogging, but does it come with Kleenex?

A nurse who should know better sent her SARS-infested twins to school yesterday, and now my curtain-climber is going to be home today with a nasty cough, hacking up green things that crawl away on their own. Poor kid.

Parents who send their Ebola-babies to school knowing (this one is a nurse!) that they will infect other kids deserve a nice beating with a ClueBat. Thanks to this momtard, an entire kindergarten class was exposed, and more than her kids will spend the weekend before Christmas sick.

Ho. Ho. Ho.

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 08:22 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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There's a chupacabra in my room

Did you know that when you combine four days of insomnia with a heavy workload, the mind can start to play tricks on you?

Either that, or I need to get a chupacabra trap.

The next thing you know, Terry McAuliffe will start to sound intelligent...

Nah.

Update: It turns out that I didn't see a chupacabra, but something else with similar physical characteristics.

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 10:49 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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A Worthy Cause

Election got you down? Are you suffering from Post Election Selection Trauma? You are not alone, little liberal.

I know several liberals that packed up their Volvos on November Third and headed north, only to be incredulously turned away just shy of the Canuckistani border. Let me tell you, it really soured their frappacinos to find out they'd have to face at least another year of BusHitler before being accepted to Paul Martin's Promised Land.

Surely, there was something that could be done.

Something that should be done.

But after almost a month of incessant whining from the high-minded-but-functionally-useless libs milling around aimlessly, it was once again up to the conservatives to actually do it.

Looking deep into our collective past, we hit upon just the solution.

Back prior to the War of Northern Aggression, courageous early Republicans often outsmarted early pre-Klan Democrats and helped those held in servitude escape to the North. It seemed only fitting to resurrect this idea to assist our "friends" in their quest to reach their socialist Nirvana.

And so, it became necessary to create the:

Yes, the Democratic Underground Railroad will help ferry the disenfranchised and downtrodden out of the land of Christian ayatollahs and non-stop Toby Keith, to the land of polar bear milk and honey.

Please make a donation or two to your favorite conservative bloggers who are doing this noble and dangerous humanitarian work.

It is, after all, for a worthy cause.

NOTE: I just added Haloscan for comments and trackback. Previous comments were unfortunately deleted in the changeover. Sorry, but it was necessary to be able to block Hate-Filled Lefties. Granted, I haven't had any to speak of just yet, but you know how we conservatives favor preemption.

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Sick blogging/Thoughts on liberal succession

Sickness sucks
Bloggins is late and light today. Yesterday's sore throat evolved into today's bronchitis, so off to the physician I went. My doctor always creeps me out a little. He looks too much like Skinner from the X-Files, and every time he puts the flashlight thing in my mouth and makes me say "ah," I half expect an alien probe to Cartman out the other end.

But I have drugs now, so tomorrow I should be better.

Thoughts on liberal succession
This has been handled quite well on various blogs across the 'net, but when you're titled Confederate Yankee you feel obligated to make at least some comment on the subject.

My comment? I advise my liberal friends who want to go this route to stock up on canned goods, bottled water, and Glade plug-ins. Why?

As a reader noted on Powerline, a truly fair and equal succession would occur on a county-by-county basis, turning many metropolitan areas into liberal "reservations."

As these predominantly urban areas are incapable of supporting enough farming and ranching to feed their own populations, starvation is a short-term possibility and a long-term certainty. Granted, the animals in the Bronx and Central Park zoos might provide enough meat for a fraction of the population for a week or two, but I don't think there are any good recipies for red panda anyway.

These same urban areas also rely on watersheds from far away "red" areas for their drinking and flushing needs, making drought, famine and disease probable. 72 hours without water from "red" upstate counties and the Big Apple will start smelling like the Big Diaper.

So think carefully before you make a decision, my liberal friends. We can possibly live without you, but you most assuredly cannot live without us.

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 08:43 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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