Merry Christmas!

I got a new laptop case, some PJs, and sausage sizzling on the stove. Kid made out like a bandit (like she should), and the wife seemed happy with her new ironing board (jus' kiddin').

Now go spend time with those you love, and I'll be back posting tomorrow as my regular obnoxious self.

Happy Birthday, J.C.

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 10:26 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 63 words, total size 1 kb.

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.

And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.

And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

Luke 2:8-14

Merry Christmas to all.

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 09:40 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 151 words, total size 1 kb.

I don't "get" Festivus.

And I don't care that I don't get it.

I'm sorry that you aren't a Jew to celebrate Hanukah, or a Christian to celebrate Christmas. Deal with it. The vacuum of faith in your life does not mean that I should celebrate the inadequacies of your spirituality with a made-up holiday.

Have fun griping about inadequacies real and perceived if that is what mimics Confession for you. Enjoy the weak reflectivity of a stark aluminum pole, while I snuggle with my wife in the soft warm glow of lights on the Christmas tree.

Just don't expect me to help you celebrate a hollow, soulless holiday inspired by a a show about nothing.

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 09:11 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 126 words, total size 1 kb.

One potential downside of have the name Confederate Yankee for your blog is that you feel obligated to comment when someone does something stupid with the Confederate Navy Jack, the flag now most associated with the Confederacy becuase of the War of Northern Aggression.

And so people have asked me to comment on the young woman in Lexington, Kentucky who was kicked out of her senior prom for wearing a dress she designed that was patterned after the more popular cousin of the Stars and Bars.

Well, what exactly do you expect me to say?

It is a sequined dress folks, and I have a hard time associating formalwear with hate speech, even if her taste is questionable. Quite frankly I think the dress itself is ugly, but she has every right to sue on First Amendment grounds for being denied the right to be mocked and ridiculed by her classmates for her horrible fashion sense. Strapless with sequins? My date knew better in the late '80s.

I'm much more offended that citizens of a half-breed state like Kentucky think they're legitimately Southern, though I'll give them the benefit of the doubt based upon some of their cultural contributions.

Let's just hope that some of the scholarships that she claims she lost weren't for fashion.

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 03:20 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 227 words, total size 2 kb.

According to the Monday morning edition of Paul Harvey News, an organization called the American Institute for Intelligence Testing has released a study claiming that NASCAR fans are ten-percent smarter than the average person.

Duh.

All it takes is listening to one disingenuous anti-American Noam Chomsky rant to figure out that his fans aren't as bright as they like to think they are. Hell, they voted for Kerry, cry for dead terrorists, and still think the media doesn't have liberal bias.

Luckily, it looks like the intelligence is spreading northward. There may be hope of turning New York into a Red state after all, once DEI, Richard Childress, Robert Yates, Roush Racing, etc help educate the unwashed blue masses.

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 10:17 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 127 words, total size 2 kb.

The following was culled from a series of emails sent back and forth between "R" at a small Southern software company and "J", one of their ornery Northern clients, after a software upgrade.

J,

I've taken care of item the issues please send in the latest executables. In regards to item b) there isn't a way for me to have this carry over. With the old transfer routine that was causing problems the Duplicate Value Entry Error the Customer PO Transfer was a part of the problem; thus it had to be done away with.

--R.

###

R,

What does this mean to me?

--J.

###

J,

It probably doesn't mean much to you, except that you'll have to hear D. bitch, moan, whine and complain about the Customer's PO Number in Other Order Entry not Defaulting to the Purchase Order Number for the Purchase Order when you transfer the items to it.

But as we all know, some things must be sacrificed in the name of progress; and I truly feel sorry that your sanity is part of what is being sacrificed.

If you want I could send up some ear plugs so you won't have to hear D. bitch, moan, whine and complain.

And just in case you're wondering yes I'm in a fabulous mood.

It's just another fabulous day in paradise down here.

--R.

###

R,

Is this what they call Southern Hospitality?

--J.

###

J,

I think it would be closer to southern hostility caused by the war of northern aggression; you guys call it the civil war. Maybe I'll coin a new psychological disorder SHPWNAS (Southern Hostility due to Post War of Northern Aggression Syndrome). You know if the damn liberals can claim Post Election Selection Syndrome and the ACLU / NAACP can claim that people of color my age have been directly affected by slavery, maybe the War of Northern Aggression is the cause of my mental instability.

R.

###

R,

It has come to my attention that you have lost your friggin mind and have started some new hostile grass roots organizations of hostility towards the northern (and smarter) section of this fine country we live in. You lost the damn war - it's over - now stop whining like hillbilly and get back to work.

J.

Of course, J. is supposed to think that the war is over. We're just in an extended phase of lulling you Yankees into a false sense of security.

Sleep tight.

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 01:04 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 416 words, total size 6 kb.