October 17, 2006

Bushitler Signs Pro-Torture Bill, Opens Concentration Camps in Pasadena

President Bush signed important pro-torture legislation into law today according to top liberal blogs, opening the floodgates of totalitarianism and completing AmericaÂ’s rapid descent from a land of unrivaled prosperity and freedom into a police state exactly like Iraq under Saddam Hussein's benevolent rule.

"You know, I just love wiping my backside with the Constitution," said the President and newly crowned Emperor for Life. "ItÂ’s a great day to be alive... as long as you arenÂ’t a hippie, or a terrorist." When approached for comment by the White House Press Corps, White House Spokesman Tony Snow gleefully referred reporters down a dark hallway, where muffled gunshots were later heard.

The House Republican leadership which helped push through the landmark legislation completing the destruction of AmericaÂ’s civil liberties, left the signing ceremony to join Vice President Cheney. Cheney was rumored to be hunting captured ACLU lawyers on a private game preserve near Lubbock, TX.

California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger celebrated by gassing thousands of marsh hippies south of Bakersfield, and Republican strategist KKKarl Rove set off the opening salvo in a barrage of high explosive artillery shells that leveled Columbia University.

Starbucks around the nation are currently under siege, and free thought has now been assigned a cost of $29.95, payable directly to the Republican National Committee.

Howard Dean, currently cowering under Glenn Greenwald's couch in Brazil, could not be reached for comment.

Update: Rev up the "wah" meter. The Daou Report just liked, ensuring us a long line of whiny hippies telling us precisely why using non-invasive interrogation techniques that cause no lasting damage makes the United States exactly like China under Mao, or Russia under Stalin, or Cuba under CastroÂ… which is kinda weird, since they tend to like those guys.

Oh, well, we'll have them IP tracked and interred by the end of the day. IsnÂ’t that right "madmatt," or as we will refer to you from now on, "70.230.8.210"?

Do not move from your location near Highway 24 North and Bingham Farms in Franklin, MI. Agents will be there soon.

THE BUSHCO JUNTA NEVER SLEEPS!

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 12:19 PM | Comments (55) | Add Comment
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