Dammit.

Pardon my Farsi.

I tried to deliver my traditional pre-election fatwa message weeks ago, but Predators keep blasting missiles into every video-laden donkey that leaves the cave, and the jackass meat covering the mountainside is starting to smell like an ACORN voter drive. Or Michael Moore.

I'm even reduced to wearing last election's campaign buttons.

Nevertheless, as Allah (PBUH) wills it, I have been able to highjack an evil Jew-lover's neo-con blog (at least until the generator runs out of gas again) and I will use it to pronounce the glorious message of al Qaeda:

VOTE DEMOCRAT.

I and my fellow freedom fighters demand this of you, and you will comply.

The American people should bow to fate and accept the glorious defeat that Allah (PBUH) and the Democratic Party have planned for you.

If you do this thing, we shall promise to kill you last, after the Jews, the homosexuals, the uncovered women, the idiot america soldiers, the Christians, atheists, the cast of The View, and the French.

It is only after you do this thing that you will be at peace with al Qaeda... for now.

Well, that, and you must avoid tall buildings, crowded public areas like stories and malls and the stadiums where men in helmets slap each other's fannies after tackling one another (disgusting), the walmart, excetera.

Stay in your home or mosque, and all will be forgiven until the end.

Also, Thank you Senator Kennedy for the talking points.

We will behead you last of all of the infidels.

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 11:28 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Via Fox News:

U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney will spend Election Day Tuesday on his first hunting trip since he accidentally shot a companion last February while aiming at a covey of quail on a private Texas ranch.

The vice president, after working at the White House on Monday morning, will head to South Dakota to spend several days at a private hunting lodge near Pierre. Lea Anne McBride, his press secretary, said it was an annual hunting outing and said Cheney spent Election Day in 2002 at the same lodge.

You might think Cheney is attempting to get out of the limelight until the '06 election cycle is over by heading afield with his custom 28-gauge Perazzi shotgun, but it could be that he is instead laying the groundwork for his '08 Presidential campaign.

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 07:32 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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After the apparently unedited video of John Kerry's bashing of the intelligence of the American military was revealed to have mirrored comments that he made to an anti-war group in 1972, leading Democrats such as Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean, New York Senator Charles Schumer, and Congressional Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi joined a growing chorus of prominent Democrats that called for the disgraced Massachusetts Democrat to resign his seat in the United States Senate.*

"Our brave men and women in Uniform deserve our unerring support, whatever their mission," said Dean. "By slandering the intelligence and commitment of our Armed Forces, John Kerry has besmirched the honor of all Americans that appreciate the honor, integrity and intelligence of our men and women in uniform."

Said Schumer, "We have all known for a long time that our nations' military consistently attracts our best and brightest. This latest slight by Kerry against our soldiers is not his first, but it should be his last as a public servant."

In an interview aired on CNN, Pelosi added, "I have always supported those brave souls who feel called to defend this great nation. Any attacks leveled against them, even in jest, are unacceptable."

"John Kerry, it seems, is the "botched joke" that is no longer needed in a patriotic and military friendly Democratic Party."

Grass roots Democratic activists have also voiced their displeasure with Senator Kerry, and have started a petition drive to demand his ouster.

* As if you couldn't tell this was satire...

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 10:15 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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President Bush signed important pro-torture legislation into law today according to top liberal blogs, opening the floodgates of totalitarianism and completing AmericaÂ’s rapid descent from a land of unrivaled prosperity and freedom into a police state exactly like Iraq under Saddam Hussein's benevolent rule.

"You know, I just love wiping my backside with the Constitution," said the President and newly crowned Emperor for Life. "ItÂ’s a great day to be alive... as long as you arenÂ’t a hippie, or a terrorist." When approached for comment by the White House Press Corps, White House Spokesman Tony Snow gleefully referred reporters down a dark hallway, where muffled gunshots were later heard.

The House Republican leadership which helped push through the landmark legislation completing the destruction of AmericaÂ’s civil liberties, left the signing ceremony to join Vice President Cheney. Cheney was rumored to be hunting captured ACLU lawyers on a private game preserve near Lubbock, TX.

California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger celebrated by gassing thousands of marsh hippies south of Bakersfield, and Republican strategist KKKarl Rove set off the opening salvo in a barrage of high explosive artillery shells that leveled Columbia University.

Starbucks around the nation are currently under siege, and free thought has now been assigned a cost of $29.95, payable directly to the Republican National Committee.

Howard Dean, currently cowering under Glenn Greenwald's couch in Brazil, could not be reached for comment.

Update: Rev up the "wah" meter. The Daou Report just liked, ensuring us a long line of whiny hippies telling us precisely why using non-invasive interrogation techniques that cause no lasting damage makes the United States exactly like China under Mao, or Russia under Stalin, or Cuba under CastroÂ… which is kinda weird, since they tend to like those guys.

Oh, well, we'll have them IP tracked and interred by the end of the day. IsnÂ’t that right "madmatt," or as we will refer to you from now on, "70.230.8.210"?

Do not move from your location near Highway 24 North and Bingham Farms in Franklin, MI. Agents will be there soon.

THE BUSHCO JUNTA NEVER SLEEPS!

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 12:19 PM | Comments (55) | Add Comment
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Are they with us, or with the terrorists?

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 11:45 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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more...

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 03:28 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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I know that some fanatics certainly seem to get off on it, but is calling jihad "the hump of Islam" really what they meant to convey?

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 12:21 PM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
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Perhaps I'm simply confused as to the best way to dispose of unexploded ordnance, but is tipping an unexploded artillery shell forward, apparently up on its fuse, as this Lebanese soldier does, the smartest way to proceed?

Update: In the comments, my favorite ordnance expert says this soldier is not as dumb as he looks:

The thing has already functioned. And even if it is an ICM projectile, fuze function and dispensing, vice range-to-impact, means he's probably nowhere near where the cargo was ejected, either.

In other words, the Associated Press was dead wrong when they called this an "unexploded shell" in their caption to this photo.

Shocking, I know.

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 10:18 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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In the comments of this post, Ronald Lewis, an experienced bomb damage assessment expert with 20 years of experience, states, in part (my bold):

...The nature of the hole in the roof of the Reuters vehicles is inconsistent with penetration by shrapnel. There would be more than one hole, a larger one surrounded by many smaller ones. This single hole, its shape and the initial gray color of the damage area are more consistent with a vehicle struck by a large piece of masonry striking the top of the vehicle at high velocity, possibly dislodged by a rocket blast. It is clear that the vehicle, itself, was not struck by missiles or rockets...

Mr Lewis is not the only expert to reach a similar conclusion.

Both of the armored vehicle manufacturers I corresponded with yesterday agreed that an explosive probably did not cause the damage shown on the Reuters vehicle. Old Soldier, a retired Master Army Aviator helicopter and fixed-wing test pilot also remarked based upon his 31-years experience that the damage may have been caused by (my bold):

... [a] chunk of flying concrete debris from a larger explosion (say perhaps a HELLFIRE or artillery round hitting a building nearby).

There are, of course, conflicting ideas that very may well be valid. Photo analysis alone does not seem capable of resolving this issue with any degree of certainty in the blogosphere, which is why it is quite disappointing that the professional media refuses to investigate what may have occurred.

I have one more email floating out there to an expert that might be able to shed a little more light on this incident, but as time passes, it appears that they are unlikely to return comment. The simple fact of the matter is that without a close-up inspection of the vehicle by recognized experts and perhaps metallurgical tests on any shrapnel that can be verified as being recovered from the victims and the vehicle, we may never know exactly what transpired.

I could not resist my sillier side, however, and present to you an artist's conception of the helicopter that carried out the attack.

Barring any late-breaking developments, I think this story is pretty much done.

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 02:48 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Michelle Malkin digs up a picture of a young Helen Thomas.

Smokin'.

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 02:50 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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While the word community is in an uproar over how to respond to North Korea's firing of multiple missiles yesterday and today, deepwater U.S. Navy salvage operations in the Sea of Japan have already located and brought to the surface one of the missiles fired.

It was missing only the nosecone and plastic parachute.

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 12:24 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Liberal blogger Glenn Greenwald is having a grand old time pointing fingers at some conservative bloggers who blasted the New York Times from running a fairly detailed puff piece about the St. Michaels, MD area that is home to Vice President Dick Cheney and Secretary of Defense Don Rumsfeld:

As I documented at length this weekend, Michelle Malkin, John Hinderaker, Red State, David Horowitz and many others of that sort spent the weekend engaged in the most vicious and self-evidently misguided attacks on The New York Times based on a puff piece in this weekend's "Escapes" section. Because the article contained a photograph of Don Rumsfeld's vacation home, they insisted that this was reckless and even retaliatory-- i.e., done with the intent to enable Al Qaeda operatives and other assassins to murder Rumsfeld (as well as Dick Cheney), and that it was further evidence of the war being waged by the NYT and its employees on the Bush administration and the U.S.

For so many obvious reasons, based on easily obtainable information -- including the fact that multiple right-wing news outlets such as NewsMax and Fox and others had previously disclosed this same information months earlier, that this information is commonly reported about government leaders in both parties, and the fact that we always know where our top government officials live and spend their weekends because they have Secret Service protection -- these accusations were as false as they were hysterical.

And let's face it—Greenwald knows hysterical, so I bow to his expertise. Unfortunately, I was too busy moving into my own country estate this weekend to comment at the time, but I still have some Monday morning quarterbacking to do all the same.

A large part of the controversy seems to revolve around the fact that Times artile not only spoke of the two homes, it actually provided a partial picture of the Rumsfeld home "Mount Misery" as shot from the street.

Here it is a bit closer, magnified as much as the JPG format will allow.

It is interesting to see how the house has changed over time. The photo of the home below was take back when Mount Misery was a bed and breakfast.

Here it is a bit closer, once again magnified as much as the JPG format will allow.

Interesting how things change over time, isn't it? The red brick Rumsfeld home (top photo) has taken on a new window over the front door since its days as a B&B (below).

Certainly, red brick federal homes all certainly look an aweful lot a like... you don't think that the Rumsfeld's might have used a "decoy house" to prevent the Times from revealing more "classified information," do you?

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 03:21 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Heh:

In a move experts said was expected for months, New York Times executive editor Bill Keller today announced the formation of a shadow government for the US, effective immediately.

"The power that we have taken is not something to be taken lightly," said Keller. "The responsibility of it weighs most heavily on us and is among the most agonizing decisions I've faced as an editor."

Times' publisher "Pinch" Sulzberger was named shadow President, but was said to be disappointed that he wasn't named shadow Prime Minister.

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 07:49 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I'm against using the entire state, but we could certainly slip them into Chapel Hill without anyone noticing. *

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 01:04 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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According to Fox News, New Orleans has begun a hurricane evacuation drill.

So far, I'm not that impressed.

4/24 Update (via Drudge): and it seems that things are even worst than first thought. A mock evacuation was cancelled because no one could figure out who was responsible for evacuating FEMA's largest trailer park in Louisiana.

And here's the really bad news (my bold):

Last year, as Hurricane Katrina approached, thousands of New Orleans' poor were left behind because they had no transportation, could not afford to leave or did not know where to go. The Louisiana Superdome and the convention center became shelters of last resort where thousands sweltered for days, suffering through shortages of food and water.

Mayor Ray Nagin has said there will be no shelters in the city this time.

The authorities can't figure out how to evacuate you, and there will be no central shelters to retreat to.

Sleep tight, New Orleans.

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 09:52 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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A picture is worth a thousand words. Look closely:

I don't know who Georgia Retos is, but if the crowd on the right is in Peabody, Massachusetts, President Bush's call to put the National Guard on the border (left) is far too late.*

* the "Peabody" picture is a mistake from the Fox News web team. It actually belongs to the Brazilian gang story (bottom left).

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 08:24 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Zombie. Robot. Terrorists. Thanks, Brendan.

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 07:31 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Or at least that is what I expected when I saw this headline.

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 09:37 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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White House Advisor Karl Rove's shrewd move back into matters purely political may have already stuck gold for the GOP, as President Bush announced a new Administration campaign designed to ease pressure on the nation's oil supply while preserving its supply of illegal alien labor.

President Bush estimates the amount of oil required for a short term visa.

Under the new "Oil for Amnesty" plan, otherwise illegal aliens from Mexico and other oil-rich Central and South American countries would be granted temporary visas, the length of which would be directly tied to the amount of oil they are able to bring with them from their home countries.

Following the official announcement, Mexican President Vincente Fox was among the first to take advantage of the program.

Oil prices fell immediately after Bush's speech.

Note: For real gas news see that Pain in the Gas Jason Smith at Texas Rainmaker.

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 02:04 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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In a week that saw White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan resign and Presidential advisor Karl Rove move away from a policy role, it appears that the biggest, and most surprising shakeup is Vice President Dick Cheney's bid to become a candidate for the next opening on the Supreme Court. more...

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at 08:25 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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